In our lives we have so many people we meet. Do you ever stop to think of those you’ve met, got along with swimmingly, but never spoke to them again? I do, regularly, and wonder where our species is heading where there are so few connections people make because they’re too busy worrying about how much they make, or how they look, that we stop thinking and caring about other people. This goes on so often in work life, friendships, significant others’ relationships, that I’ve seen the disconnect happen in my own experience as well as others and it leaves this emptiness that doesn’t always need to be there.
A couple of years ago I started a plan based upon re-connecting with everyone on my social media (Facebook specifically because I’ve never added anyone I haven’t physically met before) by meeting up for coffee, volleyball, a drink, whatever, and ended up doing only a few instead of the hundreds I wanted to do. Why is it that we are so scared of real, deep connection and communication that we distance ourselves more often than make an effort, listen, or understand? I’m not sure where this fear is coming from for most of you, but for me it’s a fear of being disliked or shun for who I am. Maybe for you it’s fear of rejection, or fear of opening up about yourself, or maybe just about fear of knowing yourself on a deeper level.
We stay in such a state of complacency because of this when it comes to ourselves, our lives, our friends, our careers, our happiness; But when does it, or can it, come to a point for most of us where we decide it’s no longer worth it to fear so much? I’m sure there needs to be a breaking point for most of us that says “you have hit rock bottom” or something along those lines to want to make a change. For me, I tend to constantly/regularly be thinking about things I haven’t done and always wanted to, or need to do and keep procrastinating. This feeling for me lies within my desire to connect, one which I believe is an overall human need, especially during difficult times.
Lately I’ve been struggling with my career choices and options having been laid off a number of times. I feel that I need to go back to that goal of meeting up with those friends in my present, past and potential future. I’m going to go back to connecting with people and learning more about all of those I’ve encountered and made the choice to involve them in everything I post on social media. I also have a large chunk of people on there that do not live in my state let alone country, but thank goodness for Skype! So…what are you doing this week? 😉
Jen E. Nunez 